horsemouth triumphant (in inevitable defeat)

horsemouth is triumphant (in inevitable defeat). again. 

his tactical position was not strong. he is the boss of the wrong commodity.  

ah well. horsemouth often goes down to defeat.  he is used to it. he can see its advantages. 

horsemouth is feeling much better (thanks for asking). rage has left him. defeat has lifted the burden of struggle off his shoulders. everything is for a time. everything is a voluntary association. everything (it turns out) was ok all along. 

there may be a negotiation (perhaps not a full negotiation, horsemouth is in defeat remember). horsemouth has registered his displeasure. it may be futile, it may be efficacious, time will tell. 

frankly horsemouth is sick of struggle (it all takes so much effort). and he is sick of defeat (it is too frequent). this is the nature of arguments over rights and wrongs conducted with limited resources.  

horsemouth likes to give the impression that he is a calm, industrious, helpful mule but nothing could be further from the truth, he is a difficult beast full of angers and slights. he is trying to get wiser as he gets older (but he suspects he is just getting less interested). 

yesterday (while stomping along in a furious rage on his daily walk) horsemouth slipped over and fell in the mud (he banged his head also). he really does begin to wonder if he does not (in fact) have lockjaw such are the unreasonable nature of his rages. but then they are structured by reason. 

another friend has left london. horsemouth is sad.  the world moves on, the changes brought about by the pandemic begin to be felt. 

horsemouth should really undertake a 'digital detox', he likes the entertainment and he likes the 'likes' (he likes the applause when he can get it)  but it really doesn't go deep enough for him. in any event there is an opportunity next week when a flatmate has lots of online work to do, horsemouth will try to take it and try and do some reading instead (he has been lamentable in his reading of late). 

there's a lot of sitting around looking at the box going 'entertain me then'. 

he enjoys the writing. he loves the opportunity to make sense. but soon enough it is over, the 'writing for the desk drawer'  that people used to do no longer makes the sense it did. not only does everyone have a novel inside them, everyone is their own novelist, everyone is a novel

he should play more guitar (after all he has rather a lot of guitars and they take up rather a lot of room). and he should sing more (he is lamentably out of practice).

next week about 6 hours of online work (broadband permitting) and 3 hours of face to face work (well with visors and such like). this 3 hours will require something like 4 hours of travel (and an early start similar to today's). soon enough it is all over and horsemouth will collapse into boredom (without the option of travel). 

hopefully there will be furlough. horsemouth is doing well out of the apocalypse (but it is starting to drag).