horsemouth likes to be useful. yesterday he was useful for about 50 minutes. (20 mins there 30 mins back - and then a walk home, three miles all told to go with the three mile walk earlier to the supermarket and back) child portage.
the question is - is this enough activity to keep the old mule's psychic economy going?
when he got home he was accused of being a gaslighter.
the metaphor (gaslighting) comes from a black and white movie where the husband so undermines his wife's confidence in herself that she thinks she is going mad. this is not horsemouth's strategy. he does not attempt to undermine people's belief in their own ability to make decisions nor in their own ability to act. but neither does he accept that for himself.
it quite spoiled his mood for about half an hour (then he decided fuck it).
thereafter he watched marguerite duras and gerard depardieu in the lorry. they sit around reading the script and discussing it (it is the tale of a lorry driver and a hitch-hiker). a lorry is filmed driving round the uglier bits of france. a friend has called it 'boring' and 'minimalist' and horsemouth has to admit he doesn't think it works. he's about 3/5th of the way through it. after he will watch india song where there is live action but the dialogue and music has been performed already to see if he thinks that works better.
duras is said not how horsemouth would have imagined it. it is said doo-RAS rather than doo-RA (once again we are dealing with the difference between real french (as spoken by actual french people) and the fantasy french that exists in horsemouth's head.
it's a beautiful morning. horsemouth has stuff he needs to write. and he needs to do some calculations. it's the last day of the ganesha festival. tomorrow is the equinox (major turning point of the year).
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