victor sjöström's dream (revisited) - no one now alive need ever die

in the dream there was a magazine with an article about musicians of bremen. no it wasn't an article it was a letter. there was also water on the desk (horsemouth was back at school and it was raining outside). horsemouth contributed to the lesson but he was mocked so he stopped. 

outside it is a grey morning with thunder and rain (like literally someone has turned all the colours down to grey). horsemouth is up earlyish having slept well. 

last night he spent time reading his blogposts from december and november 2021. 

they read surprisingly well - he was mostly back out at his parents in the wilds. he had arranged his six mixcloud mixes (the golden glow - the ones where he picked the tracks and howard arranged the mix) into a sort of festival order (3 of them dated from december - 12th, 18th, 24th and 3 from elsewhere in the years). he has lately been revisiting these. there are some pleasant surprises. 

this morning he re-read his bergman review victor sjöström's dream (an old man regrets). soon the supply of memories from two years ago will stop as the facebook notes tool ends - by november 10th 2020 horsemouth has fully converted to using blogspot as his diary. in doing this he makes much more of his soul available to posterity (assuming anyone is ever interested). writing (1s and 0s) have eaten almost all human existence - what is sacred and protected from it. this is why 'no one now alive need ever die' because we have all left lots of ourselves to posterity (possibly too much to be remembered). 

of course some people fade out while they are alive. a discretion the alienation of modern life made possible. 

in his reading horsemouth finds the following. 

'it is nice to feel useful... this is the feeling horsemouth has decided to give up' 

true horsemouth is still doing the co-op stuff but he is no longer doing the childminding stuff, he is no longer doing the work stuff, the music stuff has gone quiet. 

tonight. the regular phonecall from horsemouth's mum.

tomorrow - another grey day, followed by a zoom meeting (hopefully), followed by the second episode of our mutual friend. at some point horsemouth will listen to his october 24th version of the golden glow (he will share it again so you can listen to it too). 

he has begun reading h.p.lovecraft's the dunwich horror which turns out not to be about old (english) dunwich (sunken beneath the waves) at all but about the new england village of dunwich. it resembles deliverance in lots of ways - poverty, inbreeding, deformity. 

thursday the anniversary of the death of a friend. sunday music and a meal (very civilised)  and the clocks go back, monday halloween, tuesday november starts. we are edging on half way between the equinox and the winter solstice. we make the night journey through the dark quarter of the year.