Wednesday, 5 April 2023

yesterday afternoon (in the absence of a plan)

yesterday  afternoon horsemouth went to meet howard down by the bike shop. it is half term. howard was initially  proposing an art gallery, horsemouth was (as usual) proposing alcohol.  

it is now the day after. horsemouth is feeling depressed, slightly anxious and a little paranoid. and the sun has gone in.

now yesterday wasn't warm but it was sunny. spring had sprung and people were up and out and wandering about. horsemouth and howard were meeting fairly late on in the day so it had had a bit of a chance to warm up.

while horsemouth killed time waiting for howard in london fields. little jo walked passed and they wandered for a bit to the top of broadway market. horsemouth then got the text(S) from howard and dashed back to opposite the bike shop. thence they made it rapidly to pub on the park. initially they were outside (soon they were inside). 

in the absence of a plan (in particular an amount of beer at which horsemouth would feel he had had enough) they drank. eventually horsemouth was persuaded of the need to finish and he wandered off in the direction of home. when his bank statement for the month comes he will be able to assess the damage. 

by and large horsemouth is a happy drunk and no trouble. he must however remember that just because he (temporarily) loves the world it is not obliged to love him back. horsemouth thinks that he has always had a slight problem with alcohol - it frees him from his shyness and anxiety but he doesn't really know when to stop and tends to overdo it when the opportunity presents itself. 

ok horsemouth is starting to feel better as he converts it into text. he is starting to see that if he plans it then social activities are less inclined to spiral out of control.

today he doesn't know what he is up to. he has been for a walk (dandelions, a blue tit). he will carry on reading. 

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