'failed by our very complication...' (so why fucking argue?)

'we are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. as we were. as we are no longer. as we will one day not be at all.'

RIP joan didion two years ago. (curiously enough horsemouth has no joan didion here.) if it helps imagine she's joni mitchell. imagine it sung. 

she kept a notebook (to aid her memory for the particular,  for that couple in the bar that one time). 

'the impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way any compulsion tries to justify itself...'

giovanni anselmo of italian art movement arte povera has died. 'humble materials' in the service of resisting the commodification of art. 

 'there is a need for the most absolute freedom of choice or use of materials...'

here a mix of howard's from 7 years ago which trespasses on horsemouth territory (ali farka toure etc.).

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ah god dammit an argument. a phonecall later 'today'. the phonecall he thinks will be fine. 

horsemouth has a rule. the rule is 'do whatever is easiest and don't overcomplicate things.'  the way to keep things simple is to have simple wants and goals.

but sometimes a desire to avoid conflict will lead him into difficulty. 

often horsemouth will let events decide the course of action (in the end events decide most courses of action).  often the man thing is to keep his mouth shut and to refrain from arguing for what he believes in and if he can just do that often he can get what he wants.

other people have irrational wants and desires. horsemouth will often sit back, work out if the ask is a dealbreaker, and if it is not let it go through on the nod. I mean why fucking argue?

all this is a very tiring way to do politics (or indeed life) and horsemouth is fed up to the back fucking teeth with it all. 

he is finding it hard to remain civil. 

but on the other hand it is almost always easier to keep schtum and let it all roll on. 

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horsemouth did a little studying of fixies (fixed rate deals for gas and electricity) - the price cap is going up in january  (then down in april, then back up in october). what horsemouth can't seem to find out is what the new cost per kwh will be for gas and electricity and the standing charges for january will be, this would help him make a rational calculation his supplier blithely assures him it will be 'below the new energy price cap.' the fixie offer has penalties for leaving the deal (£75 per fuel) so horsemouth would be locked in for a year (this probably doesn't suit him). 

he will have a think about how much he would actually save by doing this and whether it is worth the fucking hassle. 

in an ideal world  horsemouth would have a smart meter already (and it would work perfectly) and he would be  able to sell his under consumption. in this ideal world the consortium would have worked and doughty workmen would be slapping insulation on the outside of his house as we speak with the government footing half the bill.  

horsemouth is sad to report this is not an ideal world.