on the last day (climbing difficult second album mountain)

'I suddenly realised that if I didn't do a second album it wouldn't get done.' 

horsemouth is up. well actually he's sitting up in bed. he may have to open a window (his parents tend to run the heating high in the morning). 

linda perhacs has a realisation. she did the first album (but it didn't take off) so she went back to her job as a dental hygienist. decades later she got emailed about how the album was an underground hit. it's another rose simpson, vashti bunyan type moment. her first album was sampled (by prefuse 73 for example) but the results were underwhelming. 

the clock is (of course) always ticking. it's just that sometimes we can't hear it. 

it's the last day  of the year  and horsemouth will be attempting to be reflective 

that's the function of this bit of the year 

(that and eating as much food you can before it rots). 

the winter solstice has passed, the sun is creeping up the horizon and getting higher in the skies but overall this side of the planet is cooling down (so we still have the bones of winter january, february, much of march to endure). given the rise in gas prices horsemouth hopes for a mild winter that does not test the heating system and his wallet unduly.

meanwhile horsemouth needs to have a number of realisations, about his music, about where he is going to live, and, more widely, what he is going to do if he is not going to be working. 

for the music horsemouth needs to climb difficult second album mountain. 

there is musicians of bremen stuff that is a duo, or howard's stuff, or horsemouth playing on howard's stuff, volumes one, two and four would be good examples. horsemouth thinks that howard will release a solo album next year (in 2022 maybe 2023) in line with volume two. 

and then there is the stuff that is horsemouth's stuff (with howard playing or singing on it) volume three would be a good example.

horsemouth needs to do another volume three. 

now horsemouth could revisit his pre-musicians of bremen  recordings and put those out (and they are decent and characterful and they are him). but more he needs to get together the repertoire for for volume three part two. 

really this is what he should have been doing over the pandemic. (and indeed before his first gig on the new season in february). 

and meanwhile horsemouth needs to have a number of realisations, not just about his music, but about where he is going to live, and, more widely, what he is going to do if he is not going to be working. 

  

'pages of rambling incoherent argument or trivial reminiscence' (the last love song)

'a heterogenous mass of prose, in which passages of profound reflection alternate with pages of rambling incoherent argument or trivial reminiscence and pieces of serious and subtle criticism lie bedded in matter whose interest is long since dead.' - introduction by helen  darbishire to de quincey's literary criticism. london, henry frowde 1909

last night  the last hawkbinge podcast of the 70ies (the end of the golden years and the silver years) - a nod to live 79 (the declaration of the new project). live 79 is where horsemouth comes in - it is on that tour that he first sees them live, granted he has heard lord of light and has bought quark, strangeness and charm. they open with shot down in the night. 

in the day horsemouth made two walks on the common -he is thinking of renaming the top of the common hergest ridge (even though it is not hergest ridge) . 

later a zoom beer with howard (who was back from christmas celebrations). horsemouth hadn't done his homework so the discussion could not take place. howard seemed taken by the collage of dreams notion which horsemouth mentioned as being present in both the white guard  and in dylan thomas's under milk wood. 

he read some of a biography of joan didion online. it occurred to him that joan and philip k.dick were probably knocking round berkeley at the same time. (both are very californian writers). if he could find the joan didion book he left here he would probably read it. 

it's a grey morning. we are nearly at the end of the year. horsemouth will probably not attempt an end of year list but he will attempt an end of month list (of books read, films watched etc.)

having dispensed with the proformas (and the books he has read) horsemouth is probably going to have to work out what to say to you directly.

you find horsemouth at a transitional moment and it's not just that he is stuck between years or hiding out at his parents in the countryside. the work has ended and so the necessity to stay in the seaside towns has ended. on the other hand horsemouth has no firm real plans to move out. he has a somewhat enlarged library to potlatch for starters. hell he even has some furniture (not just portable bookcases and boxes of books). he certainly has guitars, some keyboards and other musical instruments. 

the house of the turbins (the white guard)

'events. what events? the white guard is fiction.'

having been so prosaically real the white guard ends in a welter of dreams (just as in under milk wood). alexei turbin (the elder brother/ the sensible one/ the analogue for bulgakov himself maybe) survives the siege of kiev (at least in the novel he does, in the play he dies). within the novel he survives because his perfect sister (elena turbin) prays for him when he is injured and sick with typhus. eveybody has behaved honourably (apart from the generals, a few sneak thieves and elena's husband). 

nekrasov writes an epilogue. he visits what he tells us is the house. he tells us about going to see the play (the days of the turbins) at the moscow arts theatre and about the reception of this and bulgakov's other novels (as they arrive from out of the maw of censorship).  nekrasov knew the kiev of the time (though he carefully claims not to have known any white russians). 

if the bulgakovs are the turbins (as nekrasov claims) then the turbin family is mostly destined for exile in paris.

who knows what is destined to happen in the current tussle over kiev. 

in the book horsemouth found his bookmark - a pale pink zone 1 tube ticket from 30th june 2001. horsemouth hid it gingerly back in the book. 

yesterday a bright sunny day (and not too cold). horsemouth went for a wander up on the common in the morning (taking the bulgakov) and ran up the drive in the afternoon (for exercise). he finished reading the bulgakov in the evening (he is trying to get back into the habit of reading). 

today a grey damp morning (but the weather is still mild). we move towards the end of the week and then the new year. 

horsemouth continues to hunt for an end of year statement that gives him a clearer vision of where he is going and what he is doing but he probably needs to be doing it for it to come. 

 

2021 - how was the year for you?

'the impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way any compulsion tries to justify itself...' - joan didion, on keeping a notebook. 

horsemouth has survived 2021 and at some point in the night of the 31st (and with fireworks - but not out here in the countryside) it will become 2022. 

and thank fuck for that. 

 horsemouth is reusing this proforma how was your year for you from january 1st 2019

2021 began well at least (despite the fact that it is after the final countdown and britain had left the EU). a friend of howard's has an internet radio show over in funky kingston (the comfort zone on green futures festival radio 8-11pm fridays) and he played two tracks from the latest musicians of bremen album - sand storm  and dark was the day.  

nevertheless horsemouth has had only a moderate year in terms of cultural production. horsemouth had thought he was entering a productive part of his life but this was largely supported by other people's willingness to engage with digital technology which- he must admit - he is not that keen on doing himself. 

horsemouth hopes to do some recording in 2022 (but he has none planned currently). he can either re-release something he has recorded before, or he can pay or cajole someone to record him. hmmnnn. 

horsemouth did one gig last year at cafe babar in hereford for wierdshire (24th june - midsummer - thanks sproatley). he has one planned for the year coming (down at water into beer in february - thanks martin). musicians of bremen did not release anything of their own in 2021 but howard may release a solo album in 2022. howard put together a number of mixes over on the golden glow. two of these this year used material selected by horsemouth (thanks howard).

horsemouth has been slowed down by the pandemic. he has been distracted by the apocalypse. the apocalypse of staying home (if not so much the apocalypse of reading books as he would have hoped). instead it has been the apocalypse of farting about on the internet. horsemouth has survived this far. 

he worked with catastro/fille and with en za (thanks to both - though this material isn't out yet). horsemouth hopes this will continue in some form. an attempt to relaunch peter, paul and enza failed (thanks to all - one day we will get it up and running again). 

in 2021 he did voice over an animation for catastro/fille (poplarism) and that was released. he would like to do more of this (but on the other hand he just saw an AI powered voice over/ text reading service advertised on youtube so that's probably his (putative) ideal  job out of the window (again). 

but there were no major projects released in 2021 (like 2020s the fall of the house of fitzgerald or the slew of musicians of bremen recordings).. 

he kept on writing this blog. he read a fair bit (though not with the concentrated effort that he has managed in previous years), he watched a lot of films (mostly giallos, horrors, and ghost stories). 

horsemouth's paid work has ended. he has been made redundant - the working from home and the furlough did not (in the end) save his arse (though it seemed at the time it might). he's probably not doing enough to prevent boredom but he has savings, the redundancy cheque, an advance on the pension and his works pension (small though it is). 

and because he's staying home he is in fact spending hardly any money at all (except for rent).

but though he knows he shouldn't  he's been back up the pub (with howard), and out to get pizza, and on public transport. he knows he can't really afford to do this if he's going to avoid working again. 

his homestead (the gaff) - horsemouth remains cautiously pleased with. he has returned the living room to use and cleared out the corridors. (of course he expects it all to roll back down the hill while he is away.)

meanwhile the back and front gardens have gone to fuckries again and will need to be purged.

in his room he needs to have another book sale if he is going to get mobile. there are a lot of books horsemouth bought just for the pleasure of a bargain or passing interest and he's not sure that he loves them enough to want to move them again. 

the communal endeavour all meets online now. horsemouth has genuinely tried to keep his eyes on the prize and to avoid annoying people. in the wider world politically horsemouth expects it all to continue to be shit, just because brexit is 'done' it doesn't mean that the current spate of nationalist bollocks won't drag on forever. he apologises to his EU friends.

he walked less than in previous years (no walking for work/ not much walking for books).in previous years he'd replaced getting the tube into the centre with getting the bus in and for anything not directly in the centre he'd taken to getting trains or tubes round the outside of zone 1 and walking in. further he had extended this to walking to bookings, or between bookings, whenever possible. generally when there were still physical bookings horsemouth would attempt to get there for the least amount of money possible (even if it took more time).  

if he bought far fewer second hand books and fewer CDs than he would have in a normal year, he also spent far less on coffees, sandwiches, croissants, bags of chips etc. he continued cooking more regularly (but a limited range of dishes). he continued to be a lazy, morally compromised lacto-vegetarian. 

for yet another year he didn’t manage a foreign holiday (but hopes to manage one in 2022). he spent a lot of time at his folks (which has been good).  

horsemouth thanks howard, enza, catastro/fille for joining him in his creative endeavours and all who have read, watched, listened to him, or liked or commented on the things he has produced. in particular he thanks m.j. filius, marc cattini, john clarkson, mikey gee, matt boyce, martin howard, zoe gilmour, and remotecore (is that you fergus?). 

-----------------------------

having used a pro-forma horsemouth may write again later on to get his necessary revelations in. 

   

'I loved yugoslavia. I just thought it was great.'

brian aldiss was spoiled by his time in the far east with the british army he reckons. part of his time was spent painting murals and putting on dances in a converted barn in sumatra. the british were occupying it to keep out the dutch on behalf of the local dictator (and because they'd been thrown out of india by the indians). this (occupying sumatra to stop the dutch from returning) was another bit of colonial history that horsemouth had never been taught.

eventually (three years after the end of the war) there's a troopship home and a sad arrival at liverpool docks to post war housing shortages and rationing. brian gets a job in a bookshop in oxford (and a typewriter and writes a satirical novel about it and he's off). 

but he cannot settle because he had been spoiled by the far east. he fell in love with yugoslavia almost as soon as he saw it - probably after the trieste film festival which he used to attend with harry harrison (deathworld, the stainless steel rat etc.). he was an early explorer of yugoslavia by landrover (who knew). they were so pleased to see him they gave him free petrol coupons for a year. 

'I loved yugoslavia. I just thought it was great.'

brian is an engaging host and absolutely charming. he's 79 when he's interviewed (he will last out until he is 92) and if his memory for names is shot his face still lights up with pleasure at the memories of the times and the people. 

horsemouth saw him speak at the british library on a bill with norman spinrad, john clute  and michael moorcock (sean had gotten tickets) probably a decade ago now. (yes june 22nd 2011).

it's a grey, foggy wet day out. horsemouth's brother, and his wife and his kids, are up visiting. people seem to have side-stepped the current covid wave (or perhaps they haven't and maybe we will find this out later). 

horsemouth is not sure what to do with today. breakfast and then a walk at some point he guesses. 

'a metaphor for current social commentary'

it's a misty morning and horsemouth is up late.(probably those two glasses of wine he had with his dad). but at least it isn't raining (as far as horsemouth can see).  

yesterday they did not make it out to govilion but they did make it up onto the common for a wander about.  later a restrained meal in the dining room. 

today horsemouth has to decamp from his old bedroom (to make way for the children) and into the spare room (from where he will have to decamp every time his dad wants to use the internet or watch tv).

last night (later on) horsemouth discovered a series of interviews with brian aldiss (SF writer and amiable old duffer). aldiss was old enough to have fought in the second world war (in burma). the dropping of the atomic bombs on japan probably saved his life he once said. he was a writer (that's what he did) he said. 

yesterday the news cycle was suspended (at least on radio). news briefing (5.30am) seems to be on holiday. normally when he is back at his parents horsemouth starts to read the torygraph (who are engagingly apocalyptic about the prospects for capitalism - hurricane on horizon as gas prices skyrocket etc.). this time it has not happened yet.  

horsemouth just previewed the golden glow (to remind himself what was on it). chiwonisu, john handy, steve hillage, alice coltrane, miles davis all sounding like samples that could be assembled into some musical whole. 

looking back through his blog posts he was reminded of the track he was trying to write based on across the universe - he should try and get that up and running again. he has a gig early february (covid permitting) it would be good to have a new tune for it. 

so here it is (merry christmas)

there's a pattern to the releases of the horsemouth as guest DJ mixes on the golden glow. there are three in the first wave (18/12/2015 to 24/10/2016) and there are three in the second wave (24/12/2020 to 12/12/2021). three of these (as you can observe) are clustered in december. 

of course the current (second)wave may continue beyond its allotted three (mid-october would seem to be the cut-off point). 

yesterday horsemouth put up the first of the current wave - they are thematically linked by using stills from the fall of the house of fitzgerald. 

next year horsemouth will probably re-organise the golden glow festival so that it commences with the three december mixes (on their anniversaries the 12th, 18th and 24th) and then a distribution of those from the rest of the year (possibly at 6 day intervals). these will be in some kind of chronological order (by month? by precedence?) but which order horsemouth cannot yet say.

so here it is...

in a bit breakfast (it's the weekend so it's eggs rather than porridge). horsemouth doesn't know if the family will make it out for its usual christmas ramble round the section of the  brecon to newport canal near govilion but time will tell. his brother and their family should be arriving boxing day (covid permitting). 

last night horsemouth watched a somewhat alarming movie. 

return from the ashes  staring ingrid thulin, a young maximillian schell, samantha eggar and herbert lom. our max is a chess prodigy (but he's also an insufferably selfish individualist) by the vagaries of fortune he ends up plotting to kill off his meal-ticket wife (ingrid thulin). the author of the novel on which it is based (le retour des cendres - hubert monteilhet) liked gratuitously alarming plots and cynical amoral characters. moneilhet also liked literary references so there is a brothers karamazov quote. it slightly reminded horsemouth of clouzot's les diaboliques (clouzot liked the director j.lee thompson's work ice cold in alex, tiger bay) but it is (of course) not as good. 

the celebration of the life and work of joan didion must come to an end

horsemouth includes two clips from griffin dunne's the blue nights. joan is now an old lady. she rattles round the new york apartment that is full of stuff accumulated from her life and that of her family before her. her husband and her daughter are gone. she still writes amazingly. horsemouth doesn't have any of her work here (he is relying on dipping google books). he's not really familiar with the novels.